Blurred Vision
To Be Honest I Settled. Did you?
This year, I turned 55—double nickels—the age where senior discounts begin. I have gray hair, and my TikTok algorithm is set to the perimenopausal/menopausal ladies who started a new viral club for my age and stage: The I Do Not Care Club.
Yeah, I’m 55.
It’s also the year I went to the eye doctor, ready to trade my very high prescription for an even higher one. My last appointment wasn’t even a year ago, yet everything is blurry. Over the last few years, I developed anxiety about walking in new places because I’m afraid I’ll fall. Why?
I can’t see.
I’m a small-town romance author and this year I release the third of six books in my Surrendering Hearts series, as well as the first of two novellas in the Dogwood Creek Matchmakers series, Clean Sweep. There are times things are so blurry I hold my laptop to my face to see if I typed a comma or a period. Thank God for my critique partners because they have caught some funky things.
Our daughter had complications her first year that left her with comprehension issues. Although that gap is nearly closed, she does not drive now. I am her driver. When it rains or it is dark, I have to make sure my husband can drive. My vision is that blurred.
I surrendered to blurred vision. I prayed I would keep some vision, but my best days were behind me. This wasn’t an easy place to reach. Read the above again. What would I do if things got worse?
The eye doctor announced my prescription didn’t change that much. So little, in fact, he didn’t even think new glasses were worth it. He then added, “But I think I know what’s going on.”
Turns out, last year he mentioned I had cataracts that were most likely there since birth. He said it wasn’t quite time to talk about surgery.
Ten months later, he announced that it was. And sooner than later.
The real shocker was the stats he gave. 98% recover with 20/20 vision. My future looks clear with either readers, back to contacts for reading, or glasses for close up. I haven’t had that since second grade.
This week is my consult. My summer is fairly booked already, but I’m willing to be flexible to get my vision back.
The whole situation made me think about life around me.
How many situations have I or others just shrugged and thought, “Well, this is how it’s going to be?”
That mediocrity or worse has set in worse than cataracts?
We watch our step and stop taking risks.
We numb our senses because we believe we know better, or refuse to look at alternatives?
This season I’m teaching a study called Unoffendable by radio host/podcaster Brant Hansen. It’s kicking my behind because I’m Justice Julie. Authenticity and truth are important to me.
But where I see clearly when it comes to living with integrity, so many walk around with spiritual cataracts. There are compromises. Corruption. And yes, even in the Body of Christ, the church, there is crime. A lot of crime.
Justice Julie wants to smite it all away.
What I’m learning in Unoffendable is that anger is okay. Staying angry is not. Taking matters into my hands isn’t the best way. Jesus flipped tables. He did. And it’s still His job. Not mine.
He hasn’t stopped caring for the things that break my heart. In fact, they break His in ways I can’t even fathom. And He’s exposing it. Justice is coming.
Clear vision is coming. I declare it in faith I’ll walk again at my old pace without fear. I will read aloud without my glasses fogging because I get so nervous, because I can’t see. I’ll write a little faster because I can.
All the blurry things going on in the world will move front and center. It will be dealt with. Worldly cataracts will disappear. We will all see clearly.
I can’t wait.
***
I mentioned above that I am a clean and wholesome small-town romance author. My OG blog encourages readers to find other authors as well as me. Fiction Finder is a site that helps you find your next read. You can search by author or topic. Each month they have new releases, so for you, I am sharing June releases. Happy reading!