When Anger Seeps Out

Julie Arduini shares how she uses surrender issues in fiction to encourage others

 

In my last post, I shared that everything I do revolves around surrender, whether writing or speaking in public. My heart is to see people live free because they let go of the things holding them back. For me, I believe my faith in God through Christ provides that freedom. My books reflect that viewpoint in a non-preachy way.

Anchored Hearts is the first book in my Surrendering Hearts series. The series features the Hart sextuplets and how they discover their identity and try to find a love like their parents shared. Jordyn Hart is the oldest, and control is her calling card. Growing up, she had to take the reigns. When the siblings grow up and her dad moves on, Jordyn can’t let go of taking care of everything and everyone.

Repairing Hearts is Ryan’s story, and he’s set apart from his siblings. By design. He didn’t ask to be part of this overwhelming family that often receives national attention. When they graduated high school, Ryan joined the Navy and didn’t look back. When he returned to civilian life, he bought the first house he could find so he wouldn’t have to live in his childhood home.

That rash decision sets up Repairing Hearts because the home is a dump, and Ryan doesn’t have the funds to restore it. In his quest to be alone, he created a money pit that only his family can get him out of.

How?

A reality show.

Repairing Hearts was a BLAST to write because Ryan agrees to participate in a reality show thinking it will fix his house. He’s deceived because it’s a dating show. And it’s all about Repairing Ryan’s Heart.

Through colorful contestants, an evil producer, and secrets Ryan learns he’s been carrying baggage since childhood. The biggest load is anger. He didn’t know what to do with childhood anger so he stuffed it. Now with his life in ruins, the big feelings seep out.

A secondary bag Ryan carries is pride. It’s hard to ask for help. It’s not fun to admit when we are wrong. Ryan gets to learn hard lessons on live television. Fun to write, but pride is no fun to live out, is it?

Thankfully for Ryan, his anger manifests in small outbursts and isolation. I realize anger can go to dark and dangerous places. If you relate to anger and pride, it’s okay to ask for help. Don’t let those big feelings consume you and display them in ways that end in trouble.

The funny part about Repairing Hearts was it was the first book I wrote where I didn’t experience the theme in writing. Usually, I tend to have the themes before I write or as I write, and it is hard. Anchored Hearts about emotionally broke me. With Repairing Hearts the anger came AFTER the book was done.

As I process 2020 and beyond, including my mom’s death, I realized I stuffed my feelings. I think most Gen X’ers did, and honestly, I think we were taught/told to. I was. It wasn’t malicious, but it wasn’t healthy.

Now that I’m seeing these emotions and working on it, one big feel is there, knocking on my life’s door. It’s a consistent but not rude knock announcing—-I’m angry. I’m mad about this. I am so angry that happened. I’m furious that did not happen. And instead of stuffing like Ryan, or spewing, I’m trying to name and process it. Trust me, authors walk through their words.

If you can relate, not only do I hope you read Ryan’s story, but I also suggest a book that helped me, Untangle Your Emotions by Jennie Allen. Also, within the book she suggests an app where you name your feelings. How We Feel. This is helping me so much. There is an option to add friends where you can share your feelings with them. If you’d like to add me (I’m not a counselor) my friend code is 010285.